Stones and Shadows

       Sometimes I forget how to live. My body still breathes and moves and creates energy, but my mind refuses to hurdle obstacles or climb to a higher vantage point. When I encounter struggles or discomforts, my tendency is more often to freeze and crumble than to fight through. This bent has manifested itself fiercely in recent months. I have met hard things, and I have grown rocks into impossible mountains. The more I build my steep ascents the more I realize that I am the one crippling myself. My fear and hurt become too heavy for me to attempt the climb. Then I’m stuck, wallowing in self-loathing. It’s a dark and lonely place.

      But Jesus always parts the clouds so I can see that my mountains are stones and my weights are shadows. His most recent sunbeam came in the form of a recklessly powerful duo: the Apostle Paul and Keith Green. These two favorites of mine are faithful tools of my Savior in my sanctification and encouragement.  This past Sunday I heard a sermon on Galatians 2:15-21, a passage to which I turn frequently. Verses 20-21 resonate strongly: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.” Such encouragement to hear that I am not my own. My life and salvation are in Jesus, and I can’t destroy that with my shortcomings. One comment from Sunday’s sermon that I particularly liked went something like, “We work from faith and not for faith.” Any good I perform is motivated by the salvation freely provided from faith in Jesus and not by a need to gain that salvation. Jesus has secured my life, and that security moves me to action. I don’t have to be intimidated or weighted by difficulties because Jesus has taken care of those.

       Following Paul’s theme, Keith Green’s song “When I Hear the Praises Start” begins with the lines, “My child, My child, why are you striving?/You can’t add one thing to what’s been done for you/I did it all when I was dying/Rest in your faith; My peace with come to you.”  I can’t help but stop and rest when I imagine Jesus asking me that simple question: “Why are you striving? You know it’s pointless and exhausting. Just be still.” I too often forget that Jesus invites me to enjoy Him and not work for Him. The chorus of the song is also arresting: “For when I hear the praises start/Oh, and I want to rain upon you/Blessings that will fill your heart/I see no stain upon you/Because you are My child and you know me/To Me you’re only holy.” God doesn’t see me as the filthy sinner I am, but because of Jesus’ blood I am holy to Him. I am justified, free from guilt, cleansed of shame.  I find it miraculous that God sees me as holy. So miraculous that I can’t stay in a depression. God’s grace lifts me up and carries me through my obstacles. Jesus continually reminds me that because my life is in Him, I can live it well. My shackles are gone, and He has equipped me for much through faith in Him.  

 

       Jesus  always reminds me how to live.